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Carol Grigg Counselling

Share your untold story


My special area of interest and experience is Asperger's Syndrome in Relationships

Whilst I am continually gaining general counselling experience and undertaking professional development in a wide range of areas and topics, my particular area of interest and experience is Asperger's Syndrome in relationships, particularly the support of partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome.

A meaningful part of my passion for partner support has also been to write about relationships affected by AS, and to attempt to provide validation and suggestions through the written word. See "Brief Description" following, and also a list of my other literature and publications below.

Brief Description:

What is Asperger's Syndrome and how does it affect relationships?

Asperger's Syndrome is a milder form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Many adults with Asperger's Syndrome are well educated, hold down good jobs, are married and have families. On the surface, although maybe seeming a bit "different", they appear to manage more or less normally. However, the experiences of partners and family members strongly indicate that many adults with Asperger's Syndrome struggle terribly with the intimate and constant demands of relationships, home life and the variety of changes that typical lifestyles involve.

Relationships can deteriorate as conflict increases and neither the individual with AS nor partners or family members possess naturally the knowledge or skills to understand or resolve what is taking place in the relationship and home. This leads to great confusion, frustration, distress, sometimes domestic violence and often marital and family breakdown. Due to the hidden nature of the difficulties, a general lack of recognition of Asperger's Syndrome in society and limited access to support and experienced professional help, partners can become isolated, developing the signs and symptoms of depression, demoralisation, low self-esteem and confidence as well as stress-related illnesses in the long-term.

It is my belief, and that of all of the members of our partner support group ASPIA, that with adequate information, support and professional guidance, along with the motivation of the adult with Asperger's Syndrome to accept guidance, these situations can improve. If the adult with AS will not consider learning about AS or accepting guidance, there is little hope for improvement in the relationship and the non-AS partner is encouraged to strengthen his/her personal support network and seek professional guidance about ways to alter expectations and responses within the relationship in order to reduce his/her own emotional distress. Partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome may need additional support in relation to loss and grief.

Literature and publications authored by me:

  • Books for sale: See information and links below
  • Blog: See blog page on this website to read comments and thoughts designed to validate and support partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome 
  • Literature available on ASPIA's website:

Detailed information about my Books:

Straight Talk for Partners: Is Common Ground Possible?

Essential Guide for Partners of adults who seem set on their own track

(or who could be on the Autism Spectrum)  Follow this link to purchase in paper back or here for eBook.

Continuing my life's passion to validate, inform and support partners, my new book seeks to re-establish basic benchmarks and boundaries in relationships that are way off-balance.

Reviews:  "Your book is so wise, thoughtful and practical ... a gift to the reader ... thought provoking" (Brenda)  "... really clearly explained and empowering ..." (Gwen)

Based on more than twenty years of support work and counselling with partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder), this book goes beyond the call to understand and accept the differences present when one partner is on the Autism Spectrum, and to actually confront some aspects of these relationships that remain unacceptable and typically resistant to personal appeal or professional guidance.

Partner stories continue to expose an all pervasive sense of powerlessness experienced in these situations, the subtle slide away from basic social benchmarks, and a crippling absence of effective relationship tools and strategies for managing daily challenges or creating positive change

This book presents some internationally accepted principles to re-create benchmarks for partners to use to assess the state of their relationship, their own emotional well-being and their partner’s level of participation in forging and sustaining whatever common ground is possible, taking into account however the inherent limited capacities of those who may be on the Autism Spectrum.

It is believed that the principles presented in this book could equally be useful in any complicated and difficult relationship characterized by a lack of mutuality and reciprocity.

Follow this link to purchase your paperback copy of Straight Talk for Partners: Is Common Ground Possible?

or here for eBook

ASPIA's Handbook for Partner Support

A Collection of ASPIA's best information for the support of partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome.

Written/Compiled by Carol Grigg OAM

This A4 size Handbook provides information and practical guides for partners of adults with Asperger's Syndrome (or traits of) based on 10 years of support group experience and educational opportunities. Includes many helpful lists and "dot" points, making it a favourite.

Now available on Lulu and Amazon in paperback, PDF eBook or KINDLE.

Follow the links below to purchase the Handbook:

Lulu Publishing:

or PDF eBook:

or Amazon in paperback or KINDLE formats:

Insight for the Journey:

Validating and Supportive Thoughts

for Partners of Adults on the Spectrum

(Asperger's Syndrome)

by Carol Grigg OAM

This small volume contains a collection of Carol's "Newsletter Thoughts" which have become a tradition within ASPIA's support for partners of adults with Asperger’s Syndrome (Sydney). These thoughts, as well as several new essays which are also included, have been written since the publication of ASPIA's Handbook for Partner Support (2012).

To purchase this book (paperback) follow this link to the publishing site:

"Empathic understanding restores to the lonely and alienated individual a sense of belonging to the human race."

Maya Angelou